A Good Ice Breaker

Some among us are bold, brash and might even behave like the proverbial bull in a china shop when it comes to meeting new people. Others, left to their own, would sooner stay at home and never leave. For them, strangers can hurt you. Thankfully, there are plenty of citizens that fit between these two extremes.

For the moment, I’d like to discuss the shy ones, those who do get around, but find it a little unnerving to approach someone for the first time in an effort to make a new connection. The purpose may be to ask a favour of a neighbour, to complain about service in some establishment or perhaps... reliving that painful high school memory... to approach the one you admired from afar to ask for a dance. If this sounds a bit like you, you may appreciate a good ice breaker.

I fall well short of being one of the bold and the beautiful, but certainly a little above the shy introvert. I will do what it takes to make that call, approach that store manager, stand up for my rights or chat it up at a garage sale. It is of no surprise, of course, that when out of doors and among strangers, a common interest or simple distraction can immediately break the foreboding chill. It allows eyes to meet and a small grin to sneak out through the frown.

This week I had the fortunate need to meet with Donna and Paul of Forster’s Book Garden on Queen St. South in Bolton. I had some non-consumer questions to ask them and was concerned as to my approach. When I entered the establishment, I first saw Donna and her sister, and later, Paul, going about their business, and quite happily at that. Suddenly, I was being approached by a large caretaker of the canine variety, and an instant later, noticed an even larger dog. Both were extremely friendly and no threat at all. As our discussion ensued, the dogs simply blended into the background.

Now, I, being a dog lover and owner, had no problem with this and no one should. The point of the encounter though, is that by addressing the dog situation... the distraction... the approach issue that concerned me earlier, simply evaporated. The common thread, the interjection of some unexpected event, the diversion of focus, contributed to an easier exchange among strangers.

I made use of a similar distraction idea while hosting a seminar years ago. I was to be the first one to address a group of sales executives... at 9:00am. I wanted to relax the mood and shake things up... wake things up. Rather than present some hastily contrived joke that could flop, I asked a pertinent question that required a show of hands. And, while those hands were up, posed a second question, requiring the alternate hand to be raised. Yes, you would be puzzled too... I extended that into a 30 second morning stretch. A few sideways glances and chuckles later and I had their full attention.

A distraction, just like Donna’s dogs, made my task easier.

I once had an employer that routinely brought his Dachshund into the office. It seemed strange at first, but it quickly became normal for most of the staff. One day a contract worker was in the office, arguing with the boss. As it happens, the dog took offense to the visitor and the boss terminated the relationship on the spot, citing that the dog didn’t approve of the contractor. Now that is no reason for bringing your dog to work, but there can be advantages. For the staff at least, the dog was a barometer of tension and a release valve for stress.

In looking at various employment job boards, I have noticed several employers specifying that one of the perks about the job is to be ‘working in a dog friendly environment’. Who knows, perhaps every employee is also responsible for poop-and-scoop duty. In any case, there appears to be a possible trend emerging that does confirm what I have heard from medical practitioners... that petting a dog and talking to it as we often do to an infant, can lower blood pressure and alleviate stress. To what degree I cannot say, but I certainly can attest to the calming effects for myself.

Now I don’t know much about cats, and frankly they’re not for me, so I apologize if some of my comments may sound a little ruff, but suffice to say that since moving here in 2006, I have noticed Caledon or, in my case, Bolton, to certainly be Pet Proud but Downright Dog Devoted. This small town has plenty of pet stores and groomers to go around. Not a bad thing, happy to see it. We love our dogs.

And dogs can be useful. They can, supposedly, help reduce blood pressure, reduce stress, and enable strangers to break the ice. A recent study I read indicated that toddlers that have grown up in a home which included a dog, suffer from fewer ailments and allergies than those that don’t. Makes some sense since, as infants, the new world travelers are only building up their immune systems. It’s the sterilization of our kids’ environments that retard their ability to fend off disease in later years.

As for other worthwhile attributes. Have you ever heard of a drug cat or guard cat? How about an explosives sniffing cat or mercury sniffing cat. As far as I know, there are none, but there are... such dogs. And what would your sight challenged uncle do with a seeing-eye cat? Could a cat pull a sled? Do you think one could traverse a mountain slope to locate a snow-covered, downed skier. I think not. And lastly, would you want anything but a strong, devoted dog to protect your family if the need arose?

For some of us, just having to get out to walk the dog is a good thing. Aside from all of these actions that, as far as I know, cats, budgies and fish don’t do, dogs also warn us when someone is coming to the door, give us the best greeting when we arrive home and provide us with unconditional love.

Yes, I think dogs are great, and everyone should care about their respective pets, moreover, I am pleased to see ‘working dogs’ allowed on buses and in grocery stores, to see an increasing number of leash-free parks and to see dogs brought into seniors’ homes for companionship.

To be able to rely on the fortunate distraction that some dogs can provide in a place of business or on the street, is an appealing, trendy idea. That they can enable perfect strangers to convert an awkward, foreign instance into an affable, bonding experience is truly remarkable. I sincerely hope that dogs, specifically, are given even more respect as the devoted companions they are, and that their presence is not something to be feared, as often happens in parts of the GTA.

Admittedly, many other mammals deserve respect for some common attributes, but if you think that our canine friends aren’t just a little bit better, than I think you’re barking up the wrong tree.